COUNT YOUR WORDS – because heaven does!

We recently hosted a Pastor and his wife from Syria in South Africa as part of a dia-LOGOS project: Project Greener Pastures. They have endured a brutal twelve-year war, extreme hardships, severe economic challenges, a crippling pandemic and, to top it off, the devastating earthquake that struck Turkey and Syria last year.

The church not only survived but thrived. The fellowship has grown from a small house church to a congregation of more than 80 families – not despite the war, but because of the war.

We asked the obvious question: “How did you survive during the past twelve years?”

The answer was profound.

“As a church we memorized scripture. The one scripture that sustained us during the hard times was Psalm 91. Verse 2 especially spoke to us where it says “I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” We realized we needed to say this, not just believe it. We needed to declare it and proclaim it. We had the option of complaining or criticizing but we chose to declare that the Lord is our refuge. He is our protection and shelter. As we did this, our hearts were revived and we were able to share the good news with others.”

Yes, death and life are in the power of the tongue.

In Matthew 12:36-37  Jesus shares a sobering thought on the words we use in our daily conversations:  “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.   For by your words, you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” 

If this does not send shivers down your spine then few scriptures will.  Every word I speak will be accounted for – every word – by God himself.  How we address the needs of those in Gaza, how we speak about our enemies, how we speak about our leaders, how we gossip about fellow believers, how we complain about load-shedding, and the list goes on.  EVERY empty word we speak will either acquit us or condemn us.  Pause for a moment and think about that

Words, just like time, are precious commodities that are often wasted without any regret.  If words had a monetary value, we would probably use it with greater care.

The Oxford English Dictionary contains 171,476 English words that are in current use.   Research shows that the average person speaks at least 7,000 words a day.   Sadly, those 7,000 words (at least) we use are not always uplifting and positive.  74% of Americans surveyed said they hear profanity in public frequently or occasionally. The same poll found that 64% of people use the F-word (8% of which use it several times a day).

So, what, if anything, is wrong with some occasional use of “colourful” language? Well, for starters, scripture warns us that our words are not only numbered on earth but counted in heaven:

• Ephesians 4:29  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
• Ephesians 5:4  Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 
• Colossians 3:8-9  But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 
• Matthew 15:11  What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” 

And, if you still need any further convincing about the unwholesome use of idle words, consider the following sobering words of Christ:

• Matthew 12:36-37  But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” 

It is therefore important to know that we will not be judged linguistically as to the content of our words, but spiritually because of the content of our hearts.  It will not be bad English that will condemn us, but bad attitudes.  Language is simply the fruit exposing what lies at the root of the heart.  Words are simply the streams that flow from the source of the fountain.

So, before we speak, and even when sharing “truth” and factual information, first identify the type of words it might contain. Jenn Johns outlined different types of words as follows:[1]

• SLANDER This is defined as spreading rumours or lies about a person to cause damage intentionally. The Bible mentions slander countless times. James 4:11 “Brothers, do not slander one another.”
• DISHING ‘Dishing the dirt’ basically means sharing the ‘juicy info’ you learned about someone. Maybe the intent is to ‘warn someone else’ but by keeping the gossip alive, it continues to spread and taint the image of the person. This is dangerous and unbiblical. Proverbs 20:19 tells us that “a gossip betrays a confidence; so, avoid a man who talks too much”.
• RUMOURS You hear something which is not good, and it’s also not confirmed as true. But you tell someone or ask someone else about it to get more info. The rumour mill turns and turns and the gossip spreads. Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”
• BACKBITING It’s a kind of gossip that involves speaking spiteful or slanderous words about another who is not present and can do nothing in defence. It’s secretive and unbiblical and dangerous: “Whoever secretly slanders his neighbour, him I will destroy…” (Psalm 101:5).
• PLANTING SEEDS The Bible tells us we reap what we sow. With that in mind, this type of gossip is said in such a way to make the listener question or assume something about the character of a person. The Bible warns in Proverbs 16:28 “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”
• WHISPERED INNUENDO These subtle insinuations can mislead others into thinking wrong thoughts, especially if the conclusions are based on gossip. Another warning from the Bible: “What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs” (Luke 12:3).
• GOT-THIS-ALL-WRONG GOSSIP You admit you probably got it wrong but spread it anyway because it’s touching on some points that could be true. This is one of the most common types of gossip. James 4:17 says, “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”

How many of the 7,000 words+ that you spoke yesterday showed you to be a compassionate, caring servant of God?  How many of those words that you spoke yesterday made a difference to those around you – a positive difference?  How many of those words divided or reconciled?  How many of those words served little or no purpose at all?

Here’s the thing though.  Even though profanity and cursing require a single word, kindness is measured in sentences and tones.   Profanities are measured in what we say, kindness is measured in how we say it.

So, let us consider that kind words require more than eloquent speech.  It involves a heart, an attitude, respect, favour and, most of all, humility.  Consider the following

WORDS THAT ARE FRIENDLY

Titus 3:2  Tell them not to speak evil of anyone, but to be peaceful and friendly, and always to show a gentle attitude toward everyone. (GNB)

When we read scripture in the context of kind words, friendliness, respect, and gentleness; words like ALL, EVERYBODY,  ALWAYS and EVERYONE seem to appear EVERYWHERE.  We are encouraged not to speak evil of ANYONE but be gentle to EVERYONE.  That includes ALL people, ALLWAYS and EVERYWHERE.  I personally need to remember this as well.   Using words that are friendly is therefore a non-negotiable, all-inclusive instruction for ALL followers of Christ.

WORDS THAT ARE KIND

2Timothy 2:24  And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

Agh, again the word EVERYONE.  If only I could find one verse in the Bible that would justify my anger against my enemies.  But I can’t.  The simple reality is that we have no Biblical mandate to use words to demonize, villainise or slander anybody, regardless of who they are, what they believe, where they live or how they behave. On the contrary, our words must be kind to … EVERYONE

WORDS THAT ARE POLITE

Colossians 4:6  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. 

Another ALWAYS and another all-inclusive EVERYONE.  In our modern 21st century culture of narcissism, the obsession with self-reflection and the victim industry, it’s easy to think that good old-fashioned manners and politeness have been consigned to history.  Polite people are, it seems, becoming endangered species!

WORDS THAT ARE GRACIOUS

Luke 4:22  All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?” they asked.

Christ was recognised by the gracious words that flowed from his mouth.  A gracious spirit flows naturally from a tender heart.  In Matthew 7:16-20 Jesus teaches that you will recognize a tree by its fruit.  Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A tender heart cannot utter ungracious words just like a good tree cannot bear bad fruit.

WORDS THAT ARE SINCERE

James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 

Words that build up cannot carry deceit.  Sincerity is the one virtue that cannot be faked.  We can sometimes fake humility and kindness, but the very essence of sincerity is “unfakable”.

WORDS THAT ARE CONSIDERATE

James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. .

True wisdom – divine words of wisdom from above – can only flow from a considerate heart.  Being considerate is mentioned in the same sentence as purity, sincerity, peace-loving and mercy.  A virtue to desire.

TEST YOUR WORDS

Proverbs 6:6:16-19 “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord.”

Do the GOSSIP test

Gossip is a character trait.  People do not gossip, they ARE gossipers.  Ironically there is no greater character-exposer than when we use our words to gossip and slander, even if it is masquerading as ‘exposing sin’ or ‘standing up for the truth’.   Those who gossip display an image that is repulsive.

Those who slander reveal more about themselves than the ones they slander.  It is true what Henry Thomas Buckle said:  “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

John J. Edwards III describes gossip as follows: “It’s the greasy fast food of conversation, cheap, easy, and bursting with uncomplicated appeal.” The mystic world of spiritual power accompanied by rumours and suspicion will always result in gossip and eventually slander, which is taken as a serious offence by God and is completely unbiblical.

What then should we share?

Here is the Gossip Test.  Ask yourself these three questions, explained by Elizabeth Foss:[2]

IS IT TRUE? This means we STOP before passing along hearsay or gossip. It also means that we hold a grand story up to the exaggeration test. This is also the filter that says we won’t listen to gossip, nor will we pass it along. (Exodus 23:1 “Do not spread false reports…) Once we have established the truth, we move on to filter number two.

IS IT KIND? It is too easy to use TRUTH as an excuse to be unkind and even hateful. If we do discover sin in the life of someone else it should force us to our knees to pray, not on our toes to expose. If we still feel the need to talk about another person there is one final test.

IS IT NECESSARY? Does this need to be said? As our communication moves forward at a reckless speed, it has almost become commonplace to tweet, share, and blog every time we suspect someone of secret activities.  We must intentionally be taught the value of silence. Does what I’m going to share contribute to the holiness and happiness of our community? In a big, busy family, quiet is a valuable thing.

In conclusion, remember Elizabeth Foss’s words:   “It’s a simple three-fold filter test: true, kind and necessary. The people who use it are happier, and the people who live with the people who use it are cradled in grace-filled communication.”

Test it!

[1] http://goingbyfaith.com/types-of-gossip/

[2] http://www.catholicherald.com/Opinions/