TENDER-HEARTEDNESS: the virtue and the mirror of faith

Ephesians 4:32  Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ. 

This morning, I am reminded anew that our acts of kindness will ultimately reveal the tenderness of our hearts.  We can only give in proportion to the tenderness we carry inside of us: never more, never less.

The inability of the church in the west to weep about those in need is probably one of the most critical obstacles to reach the unreached.  Anguish has become a forgotten virtue and tender-heartedness a sign of weakness.   The fact that we can worship Sunday after Sunday in Church without feeling an aching pain for the lost, the lonely, the marginalised and the oppressed is a state of spiritual leprosy that can no longer be left unspoken.

Tender-heartedness is probably the one character quality that will best reveal the God that we serve, it is both a virtue and a mirror at the same time

The one character trait, the one habit, and the one action that embodies a Christ consciousness more than anything else is the INDISCRIMINATE ANGUISH of a TENDERHEARTED BELIEVER.  This will separate us from all other faiths, from all other religions and from all other philosophies.

A Christian exists to radiate the compassion of a crucified Saviour,  unfazed by who is watching and what their motives might be.  To have tender-heartedness will guide us into a new Christ consciousness.

Sadly, and desperately so, it seems like social media has turned some tender-hearted Christians into ruthless judges.   In an age of self-righteousness, where everything has to be defended or attacked and everything is either black or white, compassion is often seen as a weakness, a lack of conviction, a new-age philosophy and an enemy of truth.  This is true especially when showing compassion to those who differ from us theologically, politically, racially or simply culturally.

We really need to comprehend this truth:  TENDER-HEARTEDNESS is one of the key character traits of God.  Yes, He is truth, He is righteous, He is holy, He is love and He is all satisfying.  But, and this is the beauty of the description of His tender-heartedness, in 2 Corinthians 1:3[1], He is called “the FATHER of compassion”.  He not only embodies compassion and tender-heartedness. He impregnates us with it.

Not only do we know our God is tender-hearted because the Bible tells us so[2], we know He is compassionate because He displayed it when He stood at the grave of Lazarus and wept (John 11:35).  Or in Luke 19:41 when He saw the city and He wept.  We read about the compassion of Jesus in Luke 7:13 when He saw the dead son of a widow and He was moved with compassion, in Matthew 9:36 when He saw the crowds and He was moved with kindness and also in Matthew 14:14 when He saw the multitude and He was moved with empathy.  His words reflect someone who deeply respects others even before He recognizes His own needs.  In Matthew 15:32, when He saw the hungry, He said to His disciples, “I have compassion on them.”  In Matthew 20:34, He saw the blind man and He had compassion, as He did with the leper in Mark 1:41 and those who were like sheep without a shepherd in Mark 6:34.  Most of all, in His biggest time of need, he had compassion for those who crucified Him and on those who were crucified with Him.

But, for me personally, the ultimate mark of His tender-heartedness is found in John 13:5[3], on the same night in which He was betrayed and the day before He was arrested, flogged, spat upon , cursed and crucified, he took His disciples aside, washed their feet and addressed their concerns before focussing on His own needs.

The true mark of tender-heartedness is identifying the needs in other before addressing your own.  And what makes the tender-heartedness of God so divine is that it was made randomly available to all on the cross – indiscriminately

So, if this is the God we serve, we have no other response but to radiate the same spirit of tender-heartedness

But tender-heartedness is more than just empathy or compassion.  It is a character trait that can only be described by those who have been bruised and broken.  John Piper comments on tender-heartedness as follows[4]:

“The point here is that Christian kindness is not merely an external change of manners; it is an internal change of heart. Verse 32 says, ‘Be kind to one another, tender-hearted…’ Christian kindness is tender-hearted. If the heart is hard on the inside and the manners are meek and polite and helpful on the outside, it is not Christian kindness.

The idea behind ‘tender-hearted’ is that our insides are easily touched. When your skin is tender, it doesn’t take a very hard touch to make it feel pain. When your heart is tender, it is easily affected. It feels easily and quickly. When you stop and think about it, it is remarkable that this is commanded by the apostle. You can’t just decide to be tender-hearted and turn it on like a faucet. It is a deep character quality. Now think of Jesus – He was bruised in every single way a person could be bruised!  Bruises will convert into brokenness. Brokenness will result in tenderness and anguish will be the automatic outflow.”

Being bruised, being tender in our hearts and in our spirits, is non-negotiable on the journey of faith. Tender-heartedness and brokenness are what the Lord requires.

When the Lord wants something of significance done he will find a man or woman of God and baptise them in tender-heartedness and anguish.  Like he did with Nehemiah.

Anguish is an extreme emotional pain.  Pain for the lost, pain for the poor, pain for the persecuted and oppressed, pain for those who lead lives of blasphemy and ignorance.   The first thing Nehemiah did when he met Hanani was simply to ask a question: (Nehemiah 1:1-4)[5]  “How are my brothers and sisters doing, what about Jerusalem?”   Upon hearing the news that those who survived were in exile and that they were in great trouble and disgrace, he literally sat down and wept – for days.

It was not a concern that moved this servant of God but anguish.  It was not the issue that stirred his heart but the people.  And he responded.

Let us pray that our hearts will echo the tender-heartedness of a loving Saviour

Lord have mercy on us.

 

[1] 2Co 1:3  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,

[2] 2 Corinthians 1:3  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,

[3] John 13:5  After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

[4] http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/be-kind-to-one-another

[5] Nehemiah 1:2-4  Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem. They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.